Time

Over the last decade or so I seem filled with regret and misplaced hope. Since I am only 22 it's expected.  I wanted to be so many wonderful things when "grew up" but none of those things happened. I wanted to to ne a ballerina because it's so beautiful and moving. I wanted to be a tap dancer because I love how quick they are on their feet. I wanted to be a painter so that I could feel the joy that comes when you have finished a masterpiece. I wanted to be a chef because cooking just wasn't my thing. I wanted to be a flight attendant because you travel the world and you don't have to pay for gas, but one thing I wanted to be once I had "grown up" was a creative mind full of things that I would imagine and bring to life. Sadly I am none of those things. I am just simply a mom. I hope I can help my son make his dreams come true one day whatever they may be!

venting time

Okay so when I was even younger than I am now 

everyone use to live in the same house , well 

my grandmas house. Every morning my mom and 

grandma would talk in the dinning area and say 

how they felt. People didn't like it at all. 

Well people had a name for that "Talking Hens". 

Little did I know is that in my life I would be 

both roles. The hen and the person the hens 

were talking about. People are always saying 

don't talk about others "behind" their back, If 

you have a problem communicate. It's hard to 

not be hypocritical of others or even 

yourselves. Well today my mom gave me one small 

piece of advice that didn't really mean much to 

me at the time but now it does. She said, "you 

never know what someone is saying behind your 

back!" and when you hear someone speak behind 

your back that's when you learn the hard lesson 

of not being so trusting and become more 

forgiving because at one time you, yourself did 

the same exact thing. People think it's not 

talking to someone behind their back because 

they are venting to another friend and they 

just mean it for them to hear, which is fine 

but that opinion you are giving is sending a 

false impression about who that person is as a 

whole.

"Midnight in Paris"

Today I went to the movies to see 'Midnight in Paris' and the preview did not do it justice. I loved everything about the movie from the wardrobe and the time periods to the love interests and finding yourself!! The impression it left on me is, is that people should embrace the present because every decade or era has it's flaws and that people who lived during those times always thought the era before them was better. It made me realize that even though I was raised in the 90's I should be so lucky, because to some people mostly teenagers and young adults loved something about that time. It opened my mind to not think so much in the past and the what ifs, I should haves, and I could haves. The present is always better than the past because it can change the future of things. Well with that said and done I hope by reading this it has opened your mind.

HXHX- Mocca

Here are a few photo stills enjoy!  

My more youthful days

So back when I was 16 I dibbled and dabbled in RAVING. The first rave I ever went to was a massive. I went to the 2nd annual Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC)

In the raving world I was known for my little bunny tail seen below.

 This really was a lot of fun, I think this was a smaller rave I can't remember what it was called but I had a blast. The only thing I did at raves was dance my ass off and listen to good music :)

 And fast forward a couple of months and I am 17 in this picture... this is before I found out my ego was preggo. 

..........................................after this my life has been a roller coaster and I don't ever want to get off!!! My life goes in so many different directions like my mind that it doesn't bother me and I always know everything will work itself out, always does and always will!!!

Parenting a 12yr old

SSSSSSSSSSSooooo yeah i'm assuming raising a 12 year old isn't easy but being the 12 yr old isn't either. My sister gets into trouble sometimes for her minor wrong descions she makes. Since , I, her older sister didn't turn out cookie cutter perfect she is doubted. which is not always a good feeling. i just hope that my mom and all parents realize that each child is not the same AT ALL!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!!

my story

Welcome everyone, 
I am about to give you the truth on why i am a single parent. So fasten your seat belts its going to be a bumpy ride. 
 When i was 17 I was a wild child and I wasn't really educated in certain aspects of life. So i , like everyone else was having sex and not aware of the chance of me getting pregnant was high for my age. Well just so you know the rumors are TRUE you can get pregnant off of pre-come. When i found out, I was devastated and I just wanted to die. None of my friends believed me. It was a shock to them as well. So for about 2 weeks I was extremely depressed and unsure of how I should tell my mom or even if I should tell her for that matter... I was scared and I thought she was going to hate me and banish me. I couldn't come up with a simple and painless solution... I had many discussions with my friends and I was even preparing for the worst and who I would live with... there was only one way to break the news and just be honest with my mom. So one day when she came home from work I sat on her bed. Once I had her undivided attention it was hard for me and I started to cry... then I told her. I told her that I was pregnant... 
Her reaction shocked me. She was extremely happy and excited to become a grandma for the first time. Then she had questions and I lied... but here are the real truths to those questions everyone asks when you're pregnant... I CHOSE to be a single mom. I didn't want to stay in a relationship with his father because I wasn't ready for that much commitment. He was a rebound after a 2 1/2 year relationship. His dad is a very nice person and I'll be the first to admit it... but I don't love him. I would rather show my son true love than two people try to make it work and be miserable. I went on with my pregnancy and it was tuff to deal with all the questions that I choose to not answer, my cousin truly got me through those tuff times and till this day still does when it comes to my kid. My sons dad has three other children and vary in age. He is currently being a father to, two children who aren't his... he has only seen my son a few occasions and the last time was summer 09. I don't belittle my sons dad in anyway shape, or form.  
My son is now 2 1/2 and only knows about mommy, when he is ready and he has questions I will be there and be honest with him. 


so that sums it up. i hope you enjoyed my little short, fast forwarded story.

yay

I'm so excited i am posting my first blog... yay there are many many more to come.